“Why do you say hi to me all the time? I’m not your friend.” There was venom laced in Francesca’s words.
“I — “ Elizabeth began, nervous and uncertain. Fidgeting with her fingers, she continued, “I was just trying to be nice.”
“Well, quit it. No one wants you around here as it is, so don’t even bother.”
It silenced Elizabeth for a while, but she at least had a friend or two she was welcome around. People she could speak to freely, people that wouldn’t shun her for something like kindness. Who did that, anyway?
Years passed, and in that time, Elizabeth moved far, far away. Away from most of her family and any friends she may have had.
“Why do you always say hi to me? I’m not your friend.” It was much more a vicious spat by another young girl named Lila.
“I’m just trying to be nice,” Elizabeth said, just as confused as the last time this happened.
“Nobody likes you, no one wants to be around you. You’re creepy, you talk funny. Just get out of here.”
After a year or two, with not a friend in the world, Elizabeth couldn’t help but think this girl was right. Just as well, it wasn’t the first time anybody had told her such a thing. So she began to close herself in, more and more, hoping to fade into the background. But that didn’t stop people from throwing things at her, taunting or insulting her, pushing her around or even blatantly attacking her. Even a couple of teachers began to get after her much like the other students.
Slowly, her clothes faded from bright, cheerful colours and pretty little dresses into plain black garments as she became little more than a shadow wandering through hallways. Her bangs grew longer to shield her eyes from view. Her tongue bled from the things she wanted to say, both kind and hurtful alike.
Elizabeth begged and pleaded to be homeschooled, even if home didn’t feel like that much better of a place with her dad’s anger-management problems. She tried finding help through her parents, the teachers, the principal, and it was all to no avail. Despite her mother being on the phone with the school every day, there was no change. No hope.
Then came the day that Elizabeth snapped. On Lila, no less, right in the middle of a lecture. Elizabeth viciously slapped the girl across the face, and all the heads in the classroom turned at once when the crack sounded through the room.
Lila sat directly in front of Elizabeth, you see. But when the teacher sent Elizabeth into the hallway, none of that was paid any mind. Or the bruises on her arms, nor the tears in her eyes. She was sent to the principal’s office without even the chance of offering an explanation.
The principal knew Elizabeth’s story at this point, and was surprised to see such a polite girl show up in his office. He told her, as kind as he could, that because she hit somebody, there had to be some kind of punishment. So for the rest of the day and the next one, she was put into in-school-suspension, separated from all the rest with the few other children going through the same punishment.
Lila never spoke to Elizabeth again, and moved away shortly after getting slapped. Elizabeth’s words and actions in retaliation grew harsher as time went on like this, because no one else was going to help her. No one ever did. It was her own resort to what is considered wrong and evil that got these people to back off, and to stop hurting her all the time.
Eventually, there were some that offered kindness, but like a wild animal Elizabeth was hesitant to trust or accept it. It could have been another trap, another lure into some twisted game that would result in her being in pain.
As Elizabeth grew, she was able to make friends few and far between, but her trust issues never truly went away. The wall she built around herself even years later is almost impenetrable, and she is still wary of showing people kindness. Most of them just don’t deserve it.